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Betsy’s Down-sizing Story: One member’s experience

MY DOWNSIZING JOURNEY: RE-EVALUATING THE MEANING OF THINGS

I’ve moved a total of 16 times as an adult. Many of these moves were not my choice. Properties sold, rent increases, life changes. These moves are typical for many people. With moving comes downsizing, especially when moving to a smaller place. As we age, we often do this. 

My last move was to a smaller apartment where I live by myself. It’s half the size of my previous apartment but fortunately, it is efficiently designed. My initial impression was not very positive. The apartments in my building are all the same – square beige-colored boxes with none of the character or personality that old houses in these neighborhoods have. Because my ‘box’ is half the size of my last apartment, I had to make a lot of decisions. This was a perfect case of having to down-size. I no longer had the storage space to keep everything I owned.

I used to pack everything when I moved. All my empty wine bottles, memorabilia – school citations, high school play programs, every class picture of every child I was friends with – would follow me like toilet paper on a shoe. As I put each item in a box, I considered whether it was something I wanted or felt I might need, the latter being a holdover from my mom’s generation who grew up during the depression. One of my earlier moves was cross-country causing me to let go of things I thought I would never use again – like my camping equipment. Although I haven’t needed it, I still have regrets about the loss. With things the way they are in the world, I sometimes think camping equipment might come in handy! Having second thoughts is the bane of purging. However, a good resource I have found is The Freecycle Network. People post things they don’t want, then other people make arrangements to take them. I am keeping my eye out for a tent and propane cookstove. I can also post things that I’m looking for, like camping equipment! 

My biggest regret when I purged during past moves was in getting rid of some mementos representing past experiences. Things like old b/w photographs of myself in school plays, for instance. As was my high school artwork, darn it.  

What I continue to hold onto and will never throw out is my collection of ticket stubs from every concert I’ve ever attended, starting with Jethro Tull in 1973. I plan to collage them at some point at a friend’s suggestion. 

The biggest challenge for me when downsizing is taking the context away. When I have to make myself let go of something that  represents memories, I remind myself that the item in question is simply a thing. Altho it can be difficult, I can let go of attachment. The decision of whether to keep or give away rests on what purpose it serves and does it bring me joy. I have held onto gifts from friends I’ve lost touch with over the last 40 plus years. The items themselves have no meaning so I took some advice and photographed them before they found their final resting place, be it a yard sale or posted on The Freecycle Network.

If I had to do it over, I would do the same thing I did when clearing out a friend’s apartment recently: Make a list of the furniture  including appliances; take photos; decide what to keep then decide what to sell on Craig’s List or at a consignment shop. The rest gets posted on The Freecycle Network or dropped off at a local thrift store like Boomerangs. I would also ask friends if they could use the items I culled. I did this for my friend but have never been that organized myself. Another suggestion is to put the things I couldn’t quite let go of in a box and after a year, donate it.

One later move had to be done quickly. It was time to pare my book collection. This is perhaps the biggest challenge that most people face. I based my decision on keeping books that I learned the most from and that had changed my life (mostly spiritual); I kept my most favorite authors whose writing styles impressed me (Pearls S. Buck, Louise Erdrich); and I kept those that I had enjoyed the most – ones that I might actually read again (The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings Trilogy). The rest I gave away, mostly in a yard sale. The process was a bit gut-wrenching, but once they were gone, I made peace with my decision.

The Freecycle Network came thru when I posted my friend’s book collection. After choosing a selection she might want to keep, the rest were grouped in categories and listed. It was gratifying when the books went to people who wanted them and came to pick them up.

My advice to anyone who has to downsize to a smaller place is to sit with the understanding that you are not your things. Start with the practical items and ask yourself: do I use this, will I use this? Can I replace this if I should ever need it? The same goes with clothing – do I wear this, will I wear it, can I replace it? Objects can be viewed as, does it bring you joy? Will a photo of it suffice? And there are all those duplicate things we own. Do I really need four extension cords? Downsizing is a process. Give yourself enough time so as to eliminate the feeling of panic. Relive memories as you go through your lifetime of things, take  photos and then let them go. It can feel like a burden has been lifted. Keep only the most precious things so that where you land, your new home is not cluttered but reflects who you are and what you love..

My views about stuff have changed a lot since my first moves as an adult. I was a much more possessive person and felt very attached to my things. They were part of my identity. Now that I am older and more mature, my things are a reflection of what I enjoy. I am no longer possessed by them. Sometimes I play a game where I ask myself, what could I never, ever get rid of? You’d be surprised at how unimportant most of the things you have are.

Moving is one of the most stressful things we can go through. Even when it’s a move to a better situation, it’s going to be difficult. If you have to downsize or want to downsize, you can. You can do it. Some steps you have to take may feel painful, but remember, it’s only things. As much as you love an object, it can’t love you back. Keep only those that you cherish.

PS. One last thought, what you have to give away could be to someone who needs it more than you. That’s why The Freecycle Network is an important catalyst. One person’s shit could make another person’s garden grow.

B. Lenora 1/26/22 (Somerville, MA)

Denver Post: Learn To Declutter, Recycle, & Organize at Boomers Leading Change Oct 7 Event

We’re also hosting a representative from the Freecycle Network, a grassroots online non-profit movement of people who are giving (and getting) stuff for free in their own towns. Freecycle participants believe in donating and reusing items. So, rather than throwing away older and/or unused items like furniture, electronics, keepsakes, kitchen and household goods and other stuff, Freecycle online groups post items for free while individuals also post items they are looking for online. It’s a win-win for everybody!

AbilityNet: Tech4Good Awards: Caroline Keppel-Palmer Finalist category: Digital Volunteer of the Year Award

Founder of Museum Freecycle, Caroline is committed to using technology to help the museums reduce their environmental impact. Museum Freecycle is an online network that enables unwanted equipment to be recycled sustainably and easily between museums. It is the first industry-wide Freecycle group in the world and is run voluntarily with no budget. Caroline is based in London and works full time running her e-commerce business, Museum Bookstore, an online store specialising in art books and exhibition catalogues.

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NerdWallet: How Being Neighborly Can Save You Money

The Freecycle Network: This forum emphasizes keeping items out of landfills, so members give away unwanted items, rather than pitch them. Search Freecycle.org to find a group near you.

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BLOG: Living Frugal And Happy

1) Don’t buy what you can get for free
There are many ways to get free things. Your friends and family can give things they don’t need anymore to you, like furniture and clothes. In an increasingly environmental-conscious world websites pop up where people offer things they don’t need anymore, which you can pick up for free, for example freecycle.org. Besides these two great options you can find lots of free stuff through dumpster diving, where you pick up stuff people don’t want anymore. Try it, and you will be surprised what kind of stuff people throw away.

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Bucks Free Press: OPINION: Colin Baker – Clearing out the ‘man drawer’

Until you discover Freecycle. What a greatbrilliant initiative. I know some people have reason to want to realise some cash for their unwanted goods, but many of us just want to get rid of them and find the process less painful because they are going where they are really wanted.

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Chicago Blog: Freecycle- The Do’s and Don’ts

Here is my advice to you when using Freecycle:

DO-Respond to any emails you receive from the person with the stuff immediately.

DO-Do make sure you are able to pick it up in a timely manner. No one wants to warehouse things.

DO-If possible ask if they can leave in on their porch or entry way for you to retrieve.

Don’t- Don’t waste peoples time.

Don’t-Go back and forth trying to figure out how to retrieve the item. Have your ducks in a row before you ask for the item.

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Hover.com: Hover Stories: Deron Beal from Freecycle

Everyone has a bunch of junk lying around their house that they have no idea what to do with. Maybe it’s an old iPhone that you were going to try and sell but 3 new iPhones have come along since. Maybe it’s a stack of old textbooks from school. Or maybe it’s an ugly chair that clashes with everything in your living room. Or a broken food processor. Or a…you get the idea.

Deron Beal has set out to solve this problem with his website Freecycle.org, which has helped many unwanted items find new homes — 32,000 items a day, to be exact.

“Freecycle’s mission is really to make it easier to give something away than to throw it away,” Deron explains.

With online communities set up all over the world, 9 million members have used Freecycle to breathe new life into things that would have otherwise ended up in landfills. In the past year alone, if you were to pile the items gifted through Freecycle into garbage trucks, it would be 15 times the height of Mt. Everest!

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Frederick News Post: City Notes: Frederick’s freecycle roundup brings bulk trash pickup back

If you’re looking for a way to get rid of that old mattress or couch, the city of Frederick may have a solution for you.

The city has a new plan to help people who have no way of getting large, unwanted items to its next Freecycle Roundup bulk item drop-off event.

Employees of Frederick Community Action Agency’s Green Jobs program have agreed to help out.

The employees will drive around during the next Freecycle Roundup event in April to pick up items from people who preregister for the service, said Nikki Bamonti, executive assistant to Mayor Randy McClement.

“If it works out, it solves every problem we have had with this event,” McClement said.

The next Freecycle Roundup event will be from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. April 11 at Walnut Ridge Park, 1151 Rocky Springs Road. City residents are asked to bring their unwanted bulk items to the park, and nonprofits will be waiting to sort through donated items to see if they can be repurposed.

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Money Talks: How to Find Thousands of Freebies

Want something for nothing? Go online, because Freecycle’s got company.

Free beauty products, children’s items, restaurant meals, furniture, electronics or even cellphone service – all you have to do is look.
But, given that Freecycle is a volunteer organization, it’s a little hard to complain. Besides, when it works it’s fabulous. A relative has picked up furniture, children’s clothing and other goodies. When I lived in Seattle, I received canning jars and tree fruit.

I also used Freecycle to give away framed prints, a two-CD set of “The Nutcracker,” a paraffin hand spa and an unopened pair of anti-embolism stockings, which saved car-free me from having to lug all this stuff to the thrift store by bus.

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